Friendship: sharing and repairing our lives
My best friend just happens to be my sister. On the other hand, maybe it’s because she’s my sister that she’s my best friend. We often take liberties with family that we might not take with friends, which can be good or bad, depending on how we relate and how self-aware we are. This got […]
Continue readingI’m just a baggage-handler…
At last. After months of planning, saving and working overtime, you’re finally doing it—going to Thailand to explore the exotic Asian culture, ride in rickshaws, and eat some really good Pad Thai. As your plane prepares to land, you pull out your notebook to check your plans for Day 1. But when you get to […]
Continue readingIs helping others really helping?
I was once contacted by a woman who felt horribly trapped in her marriage: her husband had developed emphysema due to a lifetime of smoking cigarettes, and her own life had ground to a halt as she increasingly assumed a caretaking role. She was emotionally unable to break free as she had been taught to […]
Continue readingStuck in a power struggle with yourself?
As a coach and counsellor, I’m privileged to work with some wonderful high-powered businessmen (and -women). Yet the men, particularly, often resist their power so strongly that it can sometimes be hard to break through. They’re used to being in charge and to making things work. After all, for better or for worse, they’ve been […]
Continue readingIs fear the story of your life?
Once upon a time, we lived in caves. We also lived in fear. We were hunters, but we were also prey, vulnerable to attack from nasty, brutish beasties. Outside our caves (and sometimes also in them), life was scary, unpredictable and full of unknowns. We learned to lie low, to reduce our exposure to danger; […]
Continue readingToxic-parenting purge [Part 2]
Toxic-parenting purge [Part 2] Resolving emotional pain can be serious stuff. If you have personal issues from your early years, you may find it exhausting – not to mention expensive – to address them effectively. And if you’ve suffered abuse in your upbringing, it may be depressingly difficult to break free from the frustration, anger […]
Continue readingTime for a toxic-parenting purge? [Part 1]
Parenting is a tough task. Perfect parenting is an impossible one. But most parents do a phenomenal job of caring for their children, while holding down a job (or two), remembering everyone’s birthday and making order out of chaos. There are some, though, whose unresolved issues and emotional pain from their own upbringing result in […]
Continue readingRighteously religious …or mightily misguided?
A young woman called Lola contacted me recently for help with a religious dilemma. She was a ‘non-practising Catholic’ and desperately wanted to marry her ex-boyfriend, who happened to be a Jew. They had broken up because of the religious mis-match and she wanted help in trying to win him back. Lola was willing to […]
Continue readingGetting to the core of love
We spend a lot of time and energy seeking love in our lives. We may be looking for acceptance from a partner or approval from a parent; we may be hoping to succeed at a job interview or to win the respect of our peers; or we may be looking for support from our friends […]
Continue readingIt’s for the birds…
We could learn a thing or two from birds—the feathered variety. They’re up at the crack of dawn every day, singing their little hearts out, and never worrying about where the next worm is coming from. They’re not moody and they don’t get depressed when it’s raining. (I’ve never seen a bird sulk—have you?) They […]
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